The Belton Years (1)

Starting our First Joint Full Time Ministry Together

We moved to Belton, Texas in March of 1960.  Youth ministry was my primary assignment although the title “youth minister” was yet to be coined. The pulpit was vacant at that time, and since I had two years of full time pulpit experience under my belt, I was asked to assume the pulpit role on an interim basis.   Knowing what I know now, I realize just how big a risk the elders were taking back them. 

We had not been living in Belton long enough to get phone service when one of the deacons came to the house while we were having breakfast one morning.  He was not a bearer of good news.  He came to tell us that a nineteen year old girl, a member of the congregation, had just been killed in a car wreck.  He asked if we would go by and check on the family.    We took the time to shower and dress. I put on a black suit, and Ann put on a black dress.  When we arrived, we realized how foolish we had been.   People had come from work to call on the family, and were already there pitching in and helping doing what they could to help the family in their loss.  None of them were dressed in funeral clothes.  The women wore plain dresses and the men had on work clothes.   We never made that mistake again.

Somehow God used us in that situation, and we gained the respect of that family and the congregation.   One of our challenges was that of trying to help young people cope with a tragedy that involved a young lady who was very near their own age.  It was emotionally hard for them to get through the songs, but they were real troopers.

We had a rather large youth group.  I had about 30 in my senior high Bible class, and we probably had another 20 or so who were in junior high.  The church leaders wanted me to do what I could to interest the young people in singing, and they saw the funeral as an opportunity to bring the young people into a comforting role by singing at the funeral.  Most of the kids had surprisingly good voices, and it wasn’t difficult get them in shape to sing for this very sad event.

Tom Ruble, a preacher whom I had known when I was at Rosebud, was asked to conduct the funeral.  Tom was one of the most people loving persons I’ve ever known.  If there were ever two people with servant hearts, it was Tom and Vera Ruble.  Tom was the kind of guy who knew when people were hurting, and had the ability to sense things that weren’t always out in the open.

He called on me a couple of days after the funeral and told me about a brother who had grown lax in his attendance.  He said the death of this young woman had a profound effect on him, and wanted to know if I would drop by and visit.   Ann and I went to visit he and his wife.   We thought it best to spend our first time of visitation with him just trying to get acquainted  We immediately fell in love with the man and his wife.  I never mentioned church attendance to him, but we bonded instantly.

Sometime that week our telephone was installed, and he called me on Saturday night.  He said, “Norman, I’m coming back.”  He continued to be my friend the rest of his life.  Shortly after his death, I preached in a meeting in Belton.  Thirty years had passed since that Saturday night telephone call.   I didn’t have a car with me during that time, but his wife still had his old “fishing” car.  She loaned me the car and said, “I know he would want you to drive it.”

There have been many experiences like that in my career as a minister of the gospel, and they are the memories that I treasure the most.  When you’re dealing with people who have wandered from their moorings, two things are important (1) time and (2) presence.   Rarely does anything you say make a difference, but time together makes a huge difference.

I Kept Making Dumb Decisions

After our wedding we took up residence at 317 E. N. 14^th Street in Abilene.   Ann went to work for Hendricks’ Hospital.  I worked with Daddy at the carpenter trade and attended graduate classes two days a week.  On Sundays I preached for the church in Strawn.  It wasn’t one of my best preaching experiences.  I got off on the wrong foot with a prominent family and never really recovered my fumble.    More than once I was corrected for my inaccurate teaching.  My tenure there was short-lived and forgettable.

I made several dumb mistakes early on in our marriage, which actually set the pattern for problems that developed much later.  I was firmly committed to the belief that God comes first, and I still don’t have a problem with that, but I defined devotion to God in a narrow way that now looks extremely short sighted.

I thought devotion to God was the equivalent of faithfulness to the church, and faithfulness to the church was primarily measured by attendance.   I had been led to believe that faithfulness to the church means you are there every time the doors open if you can be.   I rarely missed any gathering of the church, and considered that evidence of my devotion to God.  It never occurred to me that the way you treat your wife is also an indication of devotion to God.

My approach to marriage conflict was extremely naïve.  I was 24 years old, but still terribly immature.  Had I begun a marriage any earlier in life, I’m convinced it would not have worked out.   Ann was more mature than that, and she had a more holistic view of what it means to serve God, so she did not understand some of my decisions like preaching on the Sunday morning following our wedding, and my insistence on attending the Sunday night service the day after our wedding.

It got worse.  My home congregation had planned a special New Year’s Eve meeting, and I was to be one of the featured speakers.  It was a high honor, I thought.  The meeting took place on the Wednesday evening after our Saturday wedding.   As it turned out Ann was sick.   To me there was no question about what I would do.  God came first.   I arranged to have my cousin stay with Ann, while I went to the meeting and preached.  At that point Ann didn’t know anyone in Abilene except my cousin, so she felt abandoned.   I wish I could say that was the last time something like that happened, but I can’t.  Looking back on it, I’m absolutely overwhelmed to know this woman has stuck with me for more than fifty years.

I was not happy doing carpenter work, and the preaching appointments at Strawn were going downhill. I’m not a good carpenter. Besides that, I wanted to be engaged in ministry tasks, preferably with someone who appreciated what I was trying to bring to the table. So when I heard about an associate minister’s job in Belton, Texas, I made application for it.   They hired me and gave me time off to drive back to Abilene on Mondays and Tuesdays to attend my classes.

In March we said “good bye” to Abilene, and took up residence in Belton.  The pay was poor, but the challenge was great.  The people were fantastic.  We developed lifelong friendships while at Belton. It ended up being one of our best experiences.

From a theological and academic viewpoint, my studies at the graduate school molded, and shaped my attitudes for the rest of my life.   I’m convinced that I would have been a very different kind of preacher had I only attended undergraduate school.  In undergraduate school I pretty much absorbed what they told me.  In graduate school I learned how to do research, and how to think.  That was part of my problem at Strawn.  I had begun to think for myself, and I was not reluctant to share those views, which were not always met with approval.

My experience at the graduate school set me on a course from which I have never wavered.  My beliefs today are not always the same as my beliefs were then.  I’d like to think my changes of understanding as growth. 

Nevertheless, for good or for ill, my exposure to the wider world of academia gave me the freedom to develop my own understanding of the Christian faith. My faith is strong and in many particulars I adhere to the same ideas that I learned in my youth, but I don’t believe them because somebody told me that’s what I ought to believe.  I take full responsibility for my conviction.  I can’t lay it off on parents, Sunday School teachers, preachers or even college professors.  I like to regard myself as an independent thinker.

Starting Our Married Life in Abilene

We were married at the La Vega Church of Christ in Bellmead, Texas a suburb of Waco.  We had a wonderful reception at the Cameron Park club house, and then we were off to Fort Worth to spend a part of the night.  We got there after midnight, and got up early the next morning, so I could go preach in Strawn.  That was an incredibly dumb thing to do.  They let me off that night.  It was a good thing.  I probably preached the worst sermon of my entire life that morning.

We went home to Abilene where I carried Ann over the threshold.  It was a Sunday afternoon, so I did what most husbands do, I watched Johnny Unitas and the Baltimore Colts beat the New York Giants in the NFL Championship game.  This was  before the Super Bowl was being played.   That night I thought we ought to attend church.  The only question was which one.    We decided to go to Graham Street, arrive late, and sit on the back row.   Frank Pack was the preacher and he saw us from the pulpit and said something about it, so we were caught.    

We got out quickly and missed most of the ribbing.  We went out to eat that night.  The only thing I remember about the meal is that I ordered trout, which came with head attached and the fish staring at me. We attended a movie at the Paramount on Monday.  That was our honeymoon. I started helping Daddy build a house the very next day. 

I’ve always regretted that we did it that way.  I really had tunnel vision, and for some reason unknown to me Ann went along with it.  Even though I made a bunch of relationship errors at the start, I was amazed at how great it was to be married to this wonderful woman.   I’m still amazed.

The Life and Times of Ann Williams (11)

Our Whirlwind Courtship and Marriage

Ann writes, “On January 3, 1959 I attended a youth rally in Rosebud, Texas.  My minister, Stanley Bratcher, introduced me to a young man who was preaching for the church in Rosebud. He had introduced us at a meeting about a year before this time, but Norman didn’t remember the meeting.  He became interested in dating, and we started dating three weeks later.

Norman comments, “There’s a story here that’s too good to leave out.  The next night after we met in Rosebud, some of our mutual friends came up with the idea of hosting a ‘42’ party.  For those who were not privileged to grow up in Texas, 42 is the national table game in the eyes of most of the people. I liked playing 42, and I thought it was a good idea, but I had a date with another young lady.  I said, ‘What if I bring her?  They couldn’t say, ‘No’ even though the whole party was a scheme to get Ann and me together.  They told me to come on anyway, and they quickly recruited Ann’s brother to even out the couples.

There were several tables, and winners moved up the chain, while the losers went backward.  Somehow they made sure Ann and I got to be partners, but that really didn’t last all that long.  My date figured out what was going on, and when she got me as a partner, she made sure we lost the rest of the evening.   But the hook was set, and I wanted to know more about this young nurse.  I’ll let Ann pick up with her version of the story at this point.

“We had a stormy courtship, while I tried to make up my mind about marrying a minister for sure.  In June, we set the date for the next summer.  In August Norman enrolled as a graduate student at Abilene Christian College where we planned to make our home.”  On December 26, Ann Williams became Ann Bales. 

 The Way We Looked Back Then

The Life and Times of Ann Williams (10)

Nurse’s Training

Upon her completion of High School, Ann enrolled in the School of Nursing at Hillcrest Baptist Hospital in Waco.  Two of her high school classmates attended school with her.  Everyone seemed to dread the surgical training.  It was not uncommon for student nurses to faint when they first witness a surgery.  Not Ann. She was fascinated by the whole process.  So much so that surgical nursing would become her specialty during her long career.

Nursing students may be dedicated to their profession but they are not above a few practical jokes. One night Ann and her roommate were engaged in serious study for an exam that was supposed to take place the next day.  Suddenly, the door opened, and someone threw in a bucket of water.  On the heels of that they emptied a box of Tide onto the floor.  Needless to say, that ended exam preparations.  As it turned out, the perpetrators of the prank worked very hard to help them clean up the mess.

When it came time to graduate, Ann was again faced with the possibility that she would finish as the top student in her class and be called on to deliver a speech.  As it turned out that’s exactly what happened.  Long ago she conquered her fear of public speaking, and has made presentations to ladies’ groups and others all over the country.

As it turned out her hospital nursing degree wasn’t sufficient for her to make the advances in the medical profession she really wanted to make.  Many years later, after we were married, she returned to school.  She received a BSN degree in nursing and for good measure picked up a BA in psychology.   She also became a licensed RN after passing state boards.

Speaking of her experience at Hillcrest, Ann says, “I learned a very important lesson as a student nurse.  I came to realize that beauty shines from within us, and I possessed all I wanted to be beautiful and popular.  When I gave of myself, showed interest in others, all the needs I had were fulfilled.”

The Life and Times of Ann Williams (9)

Midway High School

Ann is much too modest to write about her high school achievements.  She was an all state basketball player (back when a girl’s team had 6 members).  She was named to the all state team twice – in both her junior and senior years.  I don’t think I would have ever known that had I not seen the sleeve patch on her letter jacket after we got married.   She was also valedictorian of her class, although she tried not to be.  She didn’t want to have to make a speech.

By the time she reached high school, the South Bosque School had merged with another school to become Midway.  At that time Midway was a class B school.  Today it is a 5A school, and one of the most prestigious schools in the Waco area.  

The most influential person in the development of Midway was M. T. Rice.  Mr. Rice was both principal and girls basketball coach.  He was a highly disciplined coach who got the best out of his girls.  His teams won several state championships, some of them while Ann was in school.  The school recently hosted the 51^st annual M. T. Rice tournament, which is one of the premier basketball tournaments in the state of Texas.

Ann remembers his habit of sending in a substitute in to let her catch a breath.  She knew she was in trouble when he said, “Sarah Ann, I want you to come here and sit by me.”  Any other time she was Ann and it didn’t matter where she sat. He may have been hard as nails, but he left a lasting impression on her.  He taught her how to mix discipline, integrity, and compassion.

When Ann’s class celebrated their fiftieth anniversary, we were given a tour of the new school, which was just about to open.  The new school is a state-of-the- art facility in every way.  They were installing “Cat 5” lines for their computers the day we were there.   At one point, the principal showed us one of the new gyms (There was more than one).  I noticed all of her class members were standing near the wall, so I walked out on the court to take their picture.  The principal told the class members,  “You can walk out here.”  Ann immediately said, “Oh no, you can’t.  Mr. Rice never allowed anybody to walk on a gym floor wearing street shoes.”

Ann was very close to all the members of her class.  It was a very small class, and they bonded like brothers and sisters.  They especially enjoyed acting in plays.  Ann usually played the part of a Southern Belle.  According to her that’s why even Texans often think she’s from Mississippi.  She never tried to lose it when we moved north because she found out that people in the north love to hear her talk.

It’s been more than 55 years since these people were in school together, but they are still very close to each other.  We usually get together for a meal when we go to Waco.  Ann is probably the only one who lives a long distance from Waco.  They call us, send Christmas cards, and keep in touch.  Most of them are still alive and they care deeply about each other.