After our wedding we took up residence at 317 E. N. 14th Street in Abilene. Ann went to work for Hendricks’ Hospital. I worked with Daddy at the carpenter trade and attended graduate classes two days a week. On Sundays I preached for the church in Strawn. It wasn’t one of my best preaching experiences. I got off on the wrong foot with a prominent family and never really recovered my fumble. More than once I was corrected for my inaccurate teaching. My tenure there was short-lived and forgettable.
I made several dumb mistakes early on in our marriage, which actually set the pattern for problems that developed much later. I was firmly committed to the belief that God comes first, and I still don’t have a problem with that, but I defined devotion to God in a narrow way that now looks extremely short sighted.
I thought devotion to God was the equivalent of faithfulness to the church, and faithfulness to the church was primarily measured by attendance. I had been led to believe that faithfulness to the church means you are there every time the doors open if you can be. I rarely missed any gathering of the church, and considered that evidence of my devotion to God. It never occurred to me that the way you treat your wife is also an indication of devotion to God.
My approach to marriage conflict was extremely naïve. I was 24 years old, but still terribly immature. Had I begun a marriage any earlier in life, I’m convinced it would not have worked out. Ann was more mature than that, and she had a more holistic view of what it means to serve God, so she did not understand some of my decisions like preaching on the Sunday morning following our wedding, and my insistence on attending the Sunday night service the day after our wedding.
It got worse. My home congregation had planned a special New Year’s Eve meeting, and I was to be one of the featured speakers. It was a high honor, I thought. The meeting took place on the Wednesday evening after our Saturday wedding. As it turned out Ann was sick. To me there was no question about what I would do. God came first. I arranged to have my cousin stay with Ann, while I went to the meeting and preached. At that point Ann didn’t know anyone in Abilene except my cousin, so she felt abandoned. I wish I could say that was the last time something like that happened, but I can’t. Looking back on it, I’m absolutely overwhelmed to know this woman has stuck with me for more than fifty years.
I was not happy doing carpenter work, and the preaching appointments at Strawn were going downhill. I’m not a good carpenter. Besides that, I wanted to be engaged in ministry tasks, preferably with someone who appreciated what I was trying to bring to the table. So when I heard about an associate minister’s job in Belton, Texas, I made application for it. They hired me and gave me time off to drive back to Abilene on Mondays and Tuesdays to attend my classes.
In March we said “good bye” to Abilene, and took up residence in Belton. The pay was poor, but the challenge was great. The people were fantastic. We developed lifelong friendships while at Belton. It ended up being one of our best experiences.
From a theological and academic viewpoint, my studies at the graduate school molded, and shaped my attitudes for the rest of my life. I’m convinced that I would have been a very different kind of preacher had I only attended undergraduate school. In undergraduate school I pretty much absorbed what they told me. In graduate school I learned how to do research, and how to think. That was part of my problem at Strawn. I had begun to think for myself, and I was not reluctant to share those views, which were not always met with approval.
My experience at the graduate school set me on a course from which I have never wavered. My beliefs today are not always the same as my beliefs were then. I’d like to think my changes of understanding as growth.
Nevertheless, for good or for ill, my exposure to the wider world of academia gave me the freedom to develop my own understanding of the Christian faith. My faith is strong and in many particulars I adhere to the same ideas that I learned in my youth, but I don’t believe them because somebody told me that’s what I ought to believe. I take full responsibility for my conviction. I can’t lay it off on parents, Sunday School teachers, preachers or even college professors. I like to regard myself as an independent thinker.
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