Our Children in the Eighties (14)

Gary’s Stopover in Abilene

In the fall of 1988 Gary enrolled as a freshman at ACU.  I’m sure he only did that out of respect to me.  He wanted to enroll at the University of Iowa.  I knew that many his friends were going to the University of Iowa, and I also knew that partying was the number one thing on their mind.  I couldn’t see myself endorsing that.

Just a year or so ago discovered that one of Gary’s friends, had seriously contemplated going to ACU.  He even made a trip to Abilene with Gary.  He knew Gary would be going that way, and figured Gary would need a friend.  He told me that he would have done it, but when he found out about the rules, he just didn’t think he could live with them.

I made a tactical error on the trip down to Abilene. We were in two cars.  Ann was in one car with Ruby, and I was in the other car with Gary.  I think we were somewhere around Stamford or Anson when I began thinking about my father, who had died the previous spring.  I thought about his reputation for honesty and hard work, and I wanted to impress the importance of that legacy on Gary.

I said, “Gary, you’re going to a part of country where members of your family have had a strong presence since 1923.  They weren’t perfect people, but they had a reputation for honesty and hard work.  You bear their name, and you’re in the area where their name is still well known.  The reputation of the family rests on your shoulders.”   Thinking back on it, I wish I hadn’t said it.  It was a little too much pressure to put on the shoulders of an 18 year old.

From the beginning, it was obvious that Gary wasn’t going to fit in at Abilene.  He moved into Mabee Dorm (where I had once lived).   He soon discovered his roommate was a highly committed Christian, devoted to the spiritual life, and Gary was not on that page.  Gary did seem to enjoy his Bible class, but otherwise things didn’t go well with him.  He got a part time job, and when he earned his first paycheck he got on a plane and headed for California.  He called me from Las Vegas to let me know what he had done.  He got a job in California, but returned to Cedar Rapids within a few months.