When the Nest Empties

Sometime in the nineties, Ann and I became empty nesters.  I’m not exactly sure when it happened because Ruby and Gary both left home, returned, and left home again.

Gary didn’t stay in school very long in Abilene.  When he got enough money for a plane ticket to California, he flew to Sacramento.  He called me when he changed planes in Las Vegas to let me know what he had done.   My recall of the length of time he spent in California is a little bit fuzzy, but I do know he was out there long enough for us to visit him in Sacramento.   He came back to Cedar Rapids after that, lived with us for awhile, and ultimately moved out on his own.   He had several different jobs before moving to San Antonio to work for Ann’s brother.  He spent a year or so with Robert and then moved back to Cedar Rapids, where he ended up working as a computer systems analyst for Aegon.  He’s still employed there today.

Ruby came to Cedar Rapids upon graduation from ACU.   After about a year she ended up in Indianapolis, and subsequently moved to Colorado Springs where she had made her home for several years.

About the time our nest emptied, we had the opportunity to hear a presentation by the late Charlie Shedd, well-known author (Letters to Karen and Letters to Philip among others).  Many years earlier when I thought our marriage was falling apart, I sat in a coffee shop about a mile away from my counseling appointment trying to work up enough courage to keep the appointment.  I remember sitting there reading Letters to Philip as I contemplated the appointment.

I met Charlie several years later when he spoke in Cedar Rapids.  Charlie’s first wife, Martha, was still alive then, and she was with him.   Charlie had actually lived in Cedar Rapids at one time during his growing up years.  After the presentation, I went up to Charlie and told him how much his books had meant to me.  When he learned that I lived in Houston at one time, he called Martha over to meet Ann and me.   Charlie and Martha had also lived in Houston for several years.

Charlie gave an after dinner speech, to a civic organization and he talked about family values.   He was a down to earth kind of guy.   At one point he told us about a note that he got from Martha.   He said it was his favorite of all the notes he had ever received from her.  It read, “Dear Charlie.  I hate you.  Love, Martha.”

At one point he called Martha to the microphone and asked her to speak briefly.   She mentioned the fact that they had recently become an empty nest couple.  I’ll never forget her opinion about that experience.   She said “There’s a word that describes one’s emotions when the nest empties.  That word is ecstasy!  And so it has been for us.